Self-centeredness of co-dependents

One of the most frequent forms of co-dependent self-centeredness is believing that everything that happens to a significant other happens because of something you—the co-dependent —did. Co-dependents, indeed, believe that they are the center of the universe. “Oh, you’re unhappy. What did I do?” is the often-heard refrain of the co-dependent. If someone in the family is angry, co-dependents firmly believe they caused it and can make it better. They personalize everything! Their self-centeredness is also very intrusive: they cannot respect others enough to allow them to work out their own problems. In their self-centeredness, co-dependents are meddlers; they believe that they can and should be able to fix anything. Co-dependents take responsibility for others—their feelings, their thoughts, even their lives. This is the most gentle, loving, killing kind of self-centeredness. It is the co-dependent’s brand.