Joy

Précised from a class by Rabbi Yehoshua B. Gordon Chapter 26 of Tanya / Likutei Amarim:

Joy is at the core of solving all of our problems, because a person who is joyful can carry out all of his tasks with maximum energy. When we are sad or depressed, we become debilitated; we cannot do the things we should do. The first instruction of all is therefore to be joyful. Being joyful is not something that results from an external event; it is something that we have to work at, in order that we acquire the skill of being joyful under any circumstances, especially those where joy does not appear to be warranted. To succeed at anything, a joyful attitude must be adopted. This is why, when an army goes to war, it sings a victory song as it sets out, to ensure success in its endeavour.

To win in a battle, you have to be connected to the infinite energy within you. it is the same when we are battling against the negative voice within us. We cannot possibly win this war if we are lazy, down, depressed, apathetic, with a closed-off heart, in which condition we cannot excite ourselves about spirituality. We have to be connected with that pure light within us; we have to be lifted up and buoyant of spirit, free of worry or concern about ourselves, trusting entirely that Hashem will look after us and enable us to be successful in whatever mission he has sent us on. Worry is contrary to Torah, contrary to Hashem, and contrary to the principle of Divine providence. The opposite of apathy and coldness is action and alacrity: start moving; you cannot be successful by being a victim and feeling sorry for yourself. You have to get out there and take the first right action in the direction that Hashem sends you in, knowing that Hashem will enable you to succeed in that one action and that that one action will start a chain reaction.

A rabbi was having money troubles, difficulties raising sufficient funds for the centre he was in charge of. He was talking to a friend who was in the trucking business. The trucking friend said, “I don’t know anything about being a rabbi; I don’t know anything about fund-raising; but I know this: when I’m having financial difficulties, when I need lots of contracts to restore my business, I get out there, I get active, I get the first trucking contract, and then everything flows from there. Prayer is fine, but you’ve got to turn that into action and proceed with confidence that Hashem will ensure your success. Go get a contract.”

Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk said that the time for eating is when you are young; the time for sleeping is in the grave; and the time for depression is never, because it is unhealthy, it is unproductive, and it does not accomplish anything.

So why does Solomon say that every sadness has a benefit? He meant that, whilst sadness and depression have no advantage at all, have no redeeming feature, through that sadness and depression we can come to something higher; emerging out of the sadness, we can reach a higher plateau and achieve the greater advantage: the true joy we can experience in our connection with Hashem. When we have gone through a particular dark period and we emerge out of that dark period, it is as though we are reincarnated, resuscitated with a new spirit, because we saw the darkness and emerged into the light. You do not appreciate the light unless you have been in the darkness. The darkness will make us cherish, and appreciate, and thrive in the light. We have to grow from the dark periods: the dark period benefits us, but not in itself: only by the end of the story.

When someone experiences a true sadness: if they commit a sin and really regret their sin, at that special time of soul-searching, the impure spirit and the lower self will be shattered. Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk said that there is nothing so whole as a broken heart, because the opposite of a broken heart is arrogance. Even depression is all about me. “I am depressed; I feel worthless; I do not know what is happening tomorrow.” Someone who is godly says, “I was created by Hashem; I will do what I have to do; I will do the best I can; it is not my problem, because it is not about me.” A broken heart leads to humility and leads to wholeness. What it does is it breaks the negativity. The barrier between him and his Father in heaven is dissolved. Hashem will never forsake a broken spirit and contrite heart, because Hashem is attracted to the wholeness of the broken spirit and the contrite heart.

We recite Chapter 51 of Tehillim on repentance by King David in the night-time Shema. “Make me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that You crushed exult. ... Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and let a noble spirit support me.” The person, after his transgression, when he realises what a fool he has been, feels cleansed, energised, liberated, and joyous. That is the silver lining in the cloud that Solomon speaks of. We must go through life not depressed but invigorated, believing we are Hashem’s creation and there is no part of Hashem’s plan we cannot perform.

To get rid of darkness, you do not do anything to the darkness, you do not get a broom and try to sweep it away; you introduce a little light. To get rid of folly, you do not try to do anything to the folly, you introduce a little wisdom, and the folly is dispelled.

According to the Arizal (Rabbi Isaac Luria), our problem is often not failing to serve Hashem; it is failing to serve Hashem with joy. That is the greatest sin of all. Hashem does not like misery. How do we motivate ourselves to be joyous? By doing precisely that. By disowning the ego. By making it not about me. Joy is something we need to create, not something that comes from external circumstances. There is the story of the man who is walking around miserable, depressed, suicidal. He explains to his rabbi how a distant relative passed away, leaving him lots of money. A second, distant relative dies and leaves him money. And then a third. Then the rabbi asks: “So why are you so miserable?” The man says, “You weren’t listening. Last week, three people died, and I inherited all that money; this week: nothing.” So he’s miserable. We need to be able to create joy in every situation, because we are surely capable of creating misery in every situation. Sure, serve Hashem, but dance, sing, be joyful, give, inspire: don’t be fearful of the end of the world; celebrate! The Torah speaks a very powerful verse, when it says that the worst things come to us because we did not serve Hashem with joy. We need to be inspired by joy, we need to see ourselves as winners; we need to know we can do it; and then we sail through the bumps and trials and tribulations of life.

PART II

When you are sad, depressed, challenged, when you are lacking joy, you cannot serve Hashem effectively. The Alter Rebbe said that joy is the key to all: one cannot live effectively if one is not permeated with joy. Joy is not something that happens to us; joy is something we create.

What are the challenges that a person can have, which get in the way of joy? What are the three domains of real-life problems? The first: children—everything from wanting to having children all the way through their lives. The second: health—physical, mental, spiritual. The third and least important of these: sustenance—making a living, although it should be remembered that any problem that can solved with money is not really a problem at all. When someone is challenged in one of these ways, if someone says that they cannot serve Hashem because they are inundated with troubles with a capital T, saying, “How do you expect me to smile? I’m sad. I’m depressed. I’m having a nervous breakdown. I earned it. No one has a right to take it away from me,” the Alter Rebbe introduces a powerful response: These events are not something that just happened to occur. We are not random victims. Hashem brought them upon us. Hashem brought them upon us? Why? Why, we don’t know. But we should know that Hashem has a reason, and the reason, more often than not, is to lead us to a greater blessing. Can we understand Hashem? Many of us have a problem understanding Einstein. How can any of us understand Hashem? But what we need to know is that even the troubles are a hug from Hashem. We need to say, “Baruch Hashem” [blessed be G-d], when things are good, and “Baruch Hashem” when things are not so good. In the morning when the sun is shining, we want to thank Hashem for His kindness. But in the dark nights we have to hang in there and have faith, because the sun will come out tomorrow. What he is saying is: Don’t become a victim; don’t feel sorry for yourself; you are having a temporary problem in one of these areas; hang in there; stay connected; know that you are not a random victim; know that everything is for a reason and with Hashem’s help you will see it very soon.

The proven counsel: to purify one’s heart from any sadness, any trace of worry in relation to material problems, even the serious problems of life (children, health, and sustenance: the three basic needs); just as a person is obligated to say, “Thank you, Hashem, for the good,” so the person is obligated to say, “Thank you, Hashem, for the not so good.” We have to thank Hashem when things are good, and acknowledge Hashem when things are not so good, and that’s a tough mitzvah. We have to accept the difficulties with the same joy as we accept the troubles. And that takes tremendous strength of character. The truth of the matter is that everything is good, but what we want to see is revealed good. When we have revealed good, we are excited, we are ecstatic, we say, “Baruch Hashem”. When we have a setback, when we have trials and tribulations, we have to say, “Baruch Dayan Emet” [blessed be the judge of truth].  “Ki gam zu letovah,” (“this, too, is for the best”): it’s a good we cannot see. Why, at New Year, do we wish people, “Leshanah tovah u metukah” (“I wish you a good year and a sweet year”)? Why not just wish people a good year and save words? The answer is because everything is good, ultimately, but we are hoping for visible good. Not all good is visible to eyes of flesh and blood. Difficulties are really good in disguise: they are good from the higher world and are a higher good than the good that is revealed in this world. When something appears to be a trouble, we have to understand that this is coming to us from a higher realm.

Fortunate is the man who is chastised by Hashem, because such apparent chastisement is really a blessing from Hashem. Taking this view is not something that is easy; in fact, it is very difficult. But the Talmud says we have to strengthen ourselves—we have to have faith that the events that are happening are not happening by accident. It is true that some apparent disasters are really blessings because they save us from greater disasters. But that’s the lower level of recognising the blessing of Hashem. There’s a higher level, though: the negative itself becomes a positive. Sometimes things are simply difficult and we simply never see what the purpose is. We have to hang in, in exactly the same way as when we can see the nature of the blessing. What we have to see is that everything comes from Hashem; everything is Hashem embracing us. It is said of those who can bring themselves to accept their suffering with love: “Those who love Him are like the sun coming out in its full strength”. Hashem’s love is more dear than the entire preciousness of this world. We have to be able to muster up the love of Hashem even in the dark moments: then the hidden world will become revealed to all those who trusted in Hashem, who took Hashem as their shield, and everything will be understood with a tremendous, powerful revelation. The trust we place in Hashem brings down the blessing. “Tracht gut, vet zein gut” (Yiddish): “Think good, and it will be good.” We have to trust Hashem. We have to trust that great things are going to happen and great blessings are going to be brought down. And that trust brings down the great blessings.

There was a great rabbi, Reb Zusha of Anipoli, who was famous for suffering greatly, for having financial troubles, for having great difficulties and challenges and responding to them with joy. Someone came to the Maggid of Mezeritch and asked how to accept his own challenges with joy. The Maggid says, “You need to go and see my discipline, Reb Zusha of Anipoli, and he will show you how to do this.” So he goes to see Reb Zusha and watches everything he does. Eventually Reb Zusha says, “I’m not paranoid, but I think you are following me. What’s going on? What do you want from me” He explains how the Maggid sent him to see Reb Zusha to learn how to accept troubles, tsores, with joy. Reb Zusha replied, “I would not normally question the Maggid, but on this occasion I think there has been a mistake. You see, I can’t help you with handling tsores, as I don’t have any. I’m very blessed. Things are very good.”

To accept life with joy is to be able to lift oneself up to the point where one does not even feel it because one feels the hug from Hashem. We have to surround ourselves with the energy of the principles: “Everything Hashem does is for the good” and “This, too, will bring us to better things”; we have to find ourselves under the shade of Hashem, placing our trust in Hashem, knowing that revealed blessings will come, like the powerful sun coming forth and emerging from behind the covering of the sun; the difficulties we are facing are what is covering the sun; we have to remain connected to Hashem, and the sun will come out tomorrow; that is what the Alter Rebbe is telling people who are experiencing real-life problems; do not get caught up in negativity; stay connected to Hashem; embrace Hashem; embrace what is happening; always believe that tomorrow and today things will get better; and smile and serve Hashem with joy, even though, temporarily, you have every reason to be miserable; and may Hashem grant us that these blessings be fulfilled and that, through our hard work of “Tracht gut, vet zein gut”, we all merit a revelation of the palatable goodness and kindness from Hashem individually and communally.

PART III

What about depression that comes not from material challenges but from spiritual challenges, from “sadness that emanates from heavenly matters”, because we do not feel spiritually fulfilled, because we have transgressed and fallen off the wagon? We need to seek counsel to get rid of this depression, because if a person is concerned about a spiritual lack of accomplishment or a transgression, depression is not the way. Depression doesn’t accomplish anything. There’s an old Chassidic saying: “Depression is not specifically a transgression; there is nowhere in the Torah where it says, ‘Thou shalt not be depressed!’, but the harm that depression can do is greater than that of any other transgression; depression can destroy people.” So therefore one needs to seek counsel.

Note that we are not talking about depression that has a physical cause. Probably, all the Tanya in the world is not going to cure such a person. The Alter Rebber is not addressing that but is addressing a different kind of depression: a depression that can be transformed with attitude. Even someone whose depression has a physical cause can be helped by this, although he should continue to treat the physical cause. If a person is depressed because he feels spiritually incomplete, if he feels like a fraud, if this depression comes over him in the moments of service to G-d, if he is in the middle of prayer and gets depressed, if he is in the middle of Torah study and he can’t focus because he’s depressed, there is something wrong: he ought to be serving G-d with joy and with gladness of heart—this is the first axiom of service. This is how to achieve this: every morning when we wake up we have to put our hands together and thank G-d for restoring our souls to us, for bringing us back—”Honey, I’m home, I’m back”—and then we have to thank G-d for all the blessings; I can walk, I can see, I have clothing, I have shoes, and we recount all the blessings, enumerated; we have to say, “Baruch Hashem”, and we have to celebrate; and then we say, “By the way, it hurts me here; and I have a mortgage that’s unpaid; and I have credit card debt, and the principal is calling me to school again,” but in general: we must serve G-d with joy and gladness of heart.

However, even if he’s not in the middle of serving G-d, even if someone is a business person, and, in the middle of business, he’s thinking about his incomplete service to G-d and getting depressed, and he can’t do business; he’s a doctor, and he can’t focus on his patients, in the middle of his surgery, he’s becoming depressed because he’s sinned—(I feel bad for the patient); he’s a lawyer in the middle of the court case, he’s getting depressed; he’s an accountant, he’s getting his numbers confused, because of his depression; if heavenly matters are depressing him and worrying him in the middle of his business day: he should be certain that these are merely the machinations of the evil inclination—our evil inclination is very smart—and in the middle of our workday, the evil inclination says, “Why should I let this guy focus on work, like a normal person? I’ll have him become depressed because thirty years ago he sinned.” That’s the yetzer hara, that’s the machination of the evil inclination trying to get us off balance. Why? Why would my evil inclination try to get me off balance? Because when we get depressed enough, we give up and we sin. In order to cause this person to fall into wanton acts of sin and lust, G-d forbid, the person says, “I’m no good anyway; I’m a bum anyway; I might as well go to Vegas; what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”

As we know, many of us are challenged with weight problems; a moment on the lips, a month on the hips; and so, sometimes we fall off the wagon, somebody wakes up one morning and says, “You know something, ach, I think I gained weight, someone told me I gained weight, I’ll never amount to anything anyway, I can’t keep it off, I don’t know what to do, I’m so depressed, I’m devastated, I’m having a nervous breakdown.” Now, is this a good thing or a bad thing? Let’s see what happens afterwards. If, afterwards, he gets into his car and goes to Weight Watchers, or whatever his programme is, and he joins Weight Watchers, or whatever his programme his—this is not a commercial for Weight Watchers—and he goes back on the wagon, this is a sign that this was a good thing, that it was soul-searching, because soul-searching is always followed by joy and proactivity. But if he says, “I’ll never amount to anything, anyway, I’ve gained weight again,” and he gets into his car and drives to the bakery, and he buys a dozen doughnuts, a baker’s dozen, which is thirteen, and he eats them all in the car, this is a sign that this was not a good thing, because this depression led to sin. Sadness will lead to proactivity and joy; depression will lead to transgression; that’s the litmus test.

So, in the middle of work, if a you’re a doctor who is doctoring, or a lawyer who is lawyering, or an accountant who is accountant-ing, and in the middle of work you’re thinking depressed thoughts because you sinned, because you forgot to say your prayers thirty years ago, this is a problem; it’s from the evil inclination. This is not true sadness coming in, propelled by your love of G-d or your fear of G-d, in the middle of the business day. The time for repentance is not in the middle of the business day; the time for repentance is not in the middle of prayer; the time for repentance is certainly not in the middle of Torah study. When is the time for repentance? Once a year, on Yom Kippur, or once month a year, in Elul [a month of reflection], or, on a monthly basis, the day before Rosh Chodesh [the start of the month], we should perform a spiritual stocktaking, or, once a week, on Thursday night, before Shabbat, or, to some extent, every night, in the night-time, bedtime Shema, but during the day we should be working, and studying, and learning, and praying, and doing uplifting stuff; if you get depressed during the day, that’s clearly the act of the evil inclination: not good, throw it out. “When this depression falls on him during Torah study or during prayer, he must tell himself the following: ‘now is not the right time for true sadness’”. Even for very serious crimes, even for very serious transgressions, you’ve committed a very serious transgression, no one is saying it’s good, and you have to repent, but not in the middle of work, Yom Kippur would be a good time, the evening before Rosh Chodesh would be a good time, there is time for spiritual stocktaking, not in the middle of the day, and if it ever happens in the middle of the day, it’s clearly a sign that it is coming from one’s evil inclination.

For these periods of stocktaking, we need set-aside times and appropriate times, with a calm state of mind; we should first meditate about the greatness of G-d, against whom we sinned, in order that, through this meditation on the greatness of G-d, our heart should be truly broken, with a true bitterness, and, as Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk is quoted as saying, “There’s nothing more whole than a broken heart. Because a broken heart makes a person complete. It’s humility.” The stocktaking should thus be performed at these set times. During such stocktaking, as soon as the person feels the broken heart, at these set times, this sadness must be totally removed from his heart. He should believe with a complete and perfect faith that G-d has removed his sin, because G-d is forgiving; that’s one of the axioms of Torah, that G-d is forgiving to those who truly repent. And G-d is abundant in forgiving. This is the true joy we can experience in Hashem, which comes after the above sadness. The rule is: depression is never good; sadness is good if it leads to joy and proactivity.