Here are what I find to be the most useful quotations from the February pages of One Day at at Time in Al-Anon:
Has it produced one iota of improvement to scold, weep, complain, accuse, reason, appeal or threaten? Am I any better off today for indulging in these futile gestures?
When I say to myself that I am going to turn all my problems over to God, this does not give me leave to shirk my responsibilities.
I have been given certain tools with which to run my life, and the free will to use them, ... [including] judgment, intelligence, good will and the power to reason.
I must play a part in solving my problems, but my Higher Power will provide the guidance and the strength to take the right action.
How often we think that the trials we have to face were caused by outside forces, by fate, or by God.
We’re only too ready to look outside ourselves for the reasons for our afflictions, when the real enemy is self-deception.
Yet however difficult he may make our lives, we could do a great deal to offset its damage by turning our examination and criticism on ourselves, and taking energetic steps to correct what we think and do.
I will examine my own attitudes and activities and face the fact that much of what I do—or leave undone—contributes to my distress.
Like the alcoholic, I, too, have an unrecognized sense of guilt which I could overcome by correcting what I find wrong with me.
My first job is to stop fooling myself, stop excusing my own shortcomings.
Let me learn to understand myself first; that will occupy me so fully that I will have no time nor thought to analyze and criticize the compulsive drinker.
Troubles are opportunities to grow, to make us better, not bitter.
I pray that each day may advance my steps on the road to understanding; that I may leave nothing undone that could have changed the course of my life for the better.
When I talk all the time, nothing new is being added to me. I am using the same old destructive thought material that has kept me at a standstill for so long.
I can learn from others only if I learn to keep silent and think about what I am hearing.
We reacted, too, and made things worse.
We do not come to Al-Anon meetings to be amused, entertained or shocked with horror stories, but to discuss Al-Anon ideas—to think deeply and reflectively about what we hear and to talk constructively and clearly in order to help others.
I deal only with the problems that are mine.
We learn, in Al-Anon, that we can set a new tone in the home by such a simple thing as courtesy—consistent, gentle courtesy, to every member of the family, including the littlest one.
My ultimate contentment does not depend on having things work out my way.
... detaching myself emotionally from the problems I encounter each day.
... by not allowing myself to become involved emotionally.
Mental sobriety is a state of reasonableness, rational judgment, balance.
It is emotional sickness when we continue to be apprehensive and anxious when we really have no reason to doubt.
I will not permit myself to become emotionally involved in matters that should not be my concern.
I will not interfere with the working out of another’s difficulties, however dear and close we may be to each other.
“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” Unless we let them.
I will hold on to my faith in ultimate good.
I do not know what course of action is right for anyone else.
Mental sobriety is a state of reasonableness, rational judgment, balance.
It is emotional sickness when we continue to be apprehensive and anxious when we really have no reason to doubt.
The alcoholic is not my problem. My problem is me.
God, guide my thoughts and let these guide my actions.
We are advised to detach our minds and emotions from the problems created by alcoholism.
This day and every day, I will place myself and my life in the hands of God, secure in the knowledge that He will not fail me, if I, too, do my part.
“He hath delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me: for there were many with me.”
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